Category Archives: Values

Chake de

#Conflict #Management #Thomas-#Kilmann #Shahrukh #Khan

Do we face conflicts at our work & home. Everyone is having his or her opinions. If we are not facing conflicts that means that people see no point discussing with us.

It’s better to Agree to Disagree.

In my #Conflict #Management #programs I use #Chakde #India as a tool where #Shahrukh has used all the 5 styles.

1. #Avoid – During the 1st practice session, any player who disagreed to his instructions was moved out of practice session. The players also went out and sat.

2. #Accomodate – In the Indian Hockey Team joining session, 1 player from Chandigarh – Preeti Sabharwal is late and Shahrukh accommodates her by asking her to do some rounds.

3. #Compete – From the 1st practice session till the Korea match – (Man to Man marking) he doens’t allow Bindiya Naik to play as they were always at loggerheads heads.

4. #Compromise – As mentioned above – Man to Man marking match against Korea he goes to Bindiya and does a compromise with her to play and break the Man to Man marking.

5. #Collaborate – Before the Final match against Australia, in the Pre finale dinner, he calls Komal & Preeti to make them underatand the need of collaboration and not competing.

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Leadership

#Transactional #Transformational #Problem #Solving #Task #Obsessive #Managerial #Styles

In my programs, I have been questioned about leading teams as a challenging proposition especially when we have to deal with #problems and #crisis.

So I quote an e.g. which Managers should follow. Whenever a team member committs mistake in preparing a presentation, we usually get angry and vent out our anger. However if we call the colleague into a meeting room and ask him to look into the presentation. The colleague would always find out the mistake and take it positively to rectify the mistake.

Here the mindset of the colleague will be that despite committing a mistake, my manager is not #Task #Obsessive but understanding me and helping me resolve the #Problem.

This lead to openness and positive relationships get created between Managers & Subordinates.

We need to use the “Praise in Public, Criticise in Private” formula but with a twist. We need to use incoming call v/s outgoing call formula. Ask your colleagues to review the presentation and most of times, they would find the mistakes and take ownership to rectify it

Kindly connect for more such e.g. move from #Transactional to #Transformational #leadership

Relationship

#Interpersonal #Personality #Positive #Relationship #Bonding #Behavior #Life #Skills #Aamir #Khan #Shahrukh #Khan #Salman #Khan #Amol #Palekar

We meet many people in life – family friends & acquaintances. We bond with some & not with some. Ever wondered, Why this connect & disconnect. It’s due to our #Personality #Traits which are been learnt & ingrained.

There are some people who are focusing on #Tasks & some on #Relationships.

#Tasks #Oriented people are further classified on #Analytical – #Quality Oriented #Aamir #Khan who always likes to Focus on Details, Logic & Perfection.
& #Dominative – #Quantity Oriented #Shahrukh #Khan who always likes to #Win & only #Win, #Reach the #epitome by his #Rules & #Walk the #Talk.

#Relationships #Oriented people are further classified into #Influencial – #Extroverted #Salman #Khan who likes to #Socialize, bring #Excitement into #Work & be a #Mass #Person as #& #Introverted ( #Amol #Palekar in movies) who like to have #Strong #Relationships , #Emotional #Connect & #Empathize with others.

To know #Who are #You & How to strengthen #Interpersonal #Skills with your #Personal – #Spouse #Family #Friends & #Professional – #Boss #Subordinates #Peers #

Appreciation.

#Appreciation #Praise #Growth #Empowermement #Ownership v/s #Criticize #Reprimand #Stagnant #Sylo #I #don’t #care

My programs have lot of #Life #Skills which I really feel are the need of the hour so that we can really have all round growth.

However one of the #Key #Skills – #Appreciation is practiced very selectively. This leads to lot of disconnect between people. Hence I use the e.g. of using #Appreciation by quoting this incident.

When we have a toddler who is taking baby steps to walk, do we #criticize or #praise for taking the initiative of attempting to walk.
Similarly when a subordinate is given a task and he is supposed to deliver it by 4 pm and we #Appreciate only when he finishes the task before the deadline which is way before that is by 2 or 3 pm & we #Appreciate. However if he sends it before the deadline which is 4 pm, doesn’t he deserve to be #Appreciated. Albeit if he sends by 4:05 pm we tend to #reprimand or #criticize immediately. This gets into -ve mindset of the employee.
We do the same at home when we eat dinner, out of 25-28 days we have 2-3 days when the food is not cooked properly & we #criticize immediately. Do we #praise the remaining 23-25 days.

Intelligence vs wisdom

Lao Tzu’s philosophy.

Differences between Intelligence and Wisdom….

Intelligence leads to arguments. Wisdom leads to settlements.

Intelligence is power of will. Wisdom is power over will.

Intelligence is heat, it burns. Wisdom is warmth, it comforts.

Intelligence is pursuit of knowledge, it tires the seeker. Wisdom is pursuit of truth, it inspires the seeker.

Intelligence is holding on. Wisdom is letting go.

Intelligence leads you. Wisdom guides you.

An intelligent man thinks he knows. A wise man knows he thinks.

An intelligent man always tries to prove his point. A wise man knows there really is no point.

An intelligent man freely gives unsolicited advice. A wise man keeps his counsel.

An intelligent man understands what is being said. A wise man understands what is left unsaid.

An intelligent man speaks when he has to say something. A wise man speaks when he has something to say.

An intelligent man sees everything as relative. A wise man sees everything as related.

An intelligent man is always insistent. A wise man is ever consistent.

An intelligent man tries to control the flow. A wise man goes with the flow.

An intelligent man is wordy. A wise man is worldly.

An intelligent man preaches. A wise man reaches.

Sometimes it is better to be kind than to be right.

Growing old

As I’ve aged, I’ve become kinder to, and less critical of, myself. I’ve become my own friend.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read, or play on the computer until4 AM? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60s & 70s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.

I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, eventually, we remember the important things.

Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and too many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being older. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

Friends for life

I never sat on a sofa with my father & after my marriage, he had already left me…….
“Many years ago, after I got married I was sitting on a couch on a hot, humid day, sipping frozen juice during a visit to my father.

As I talked about adult life, marriage, responsibilities, and obligations, my father thoughtfully stirred the ice cubes in his glass and cast a clear, sober look at me.

“Never forget your friends,” he advised, “they will become more important as you get older.”

“Regardless of how much you love your family and the children you happen to have, you will always need friends.

Remember to go out with them occasionally, do activities with them, call them …”

“What strange advice!” I thought. “I just entered the married world, I am an adult and surely my wife and the family that we will start will be everything I need to make sense of my life.”

Yet I obeyed him; kept in touch with my friends and annually increased their number. Over the years, I became aware that my father knew what he was talking about!

In as much as time and nature carry out their designs and mysteries on a man, friends are the bulwarks of his life.

After some years of life, here is what I learned:

Time passes.
Life goes on.
The distances increase
Children grow up & and become independent and although the it breaks the parents’ heart but they are often separated from them.

Jobs come and go.

Illusions, desires, attractions, sex … weaken.

People do what they should not do.

The parents die.

Colleagues forget the favors.

The races are over.

But, true friends are always there, no matter how long or how many miles they are.

A friend is never more distant than the reach of a need, reaching out to you intervening in your favor, waiting for you with open arms or with blessings for your life.

When we started this adventure called LIFE, we did not know of the incredible joys or sorrows that were ahead.

We did not know how much we would need from one another.
Love your parents, take care of your children, but keep a group of good friends.

Dedicated to all my Friends.❤❤❤

True Leadership

The qualities of skilful leadership

If you want to be a leader who attracts quality people, the key is to become a person of quality yourself. Leadership is the ability to attract someone to the gifts, skills, and opportunities you offer as an owner, as a manager, as a parent. I call leadership the great challenge of life. What’s important in leadership is refining your skills. All great leaders keep working on themselves until they become effective. Here are some specifics:

Learn to be strong but not rude

It is an extra step you must take to become a powerful, capable leader with a wide range of reach. Some people mistake rudeness for strength. It’s not even a good substitute.

Learn to be kind but not weak

We must not mistake kindness for weakness. Kindness isn’t weak. Kindness is a certain type of strength. We must be kind enough to tell somebody the truth. We must be kind enough and considerate enough to lay it on the line. We must be kind enough to tell it like it is and not deal in delusion.

Learn to be bold but not a bully

It takes boldness to win the day. To build your influence, you’ve got to walk in front of your group. You’ve got to be willing to take the first arrow, tackle the first problem, and discover the first sign of trouble.

You’ve got to learn to be humble, but not timid

You can’t get to the high life by being timid. Some people mistake timidity for humility. Humility is almost a God-like word. A sense of awe. A sense of wonder. An awareness of the human soul and spirit. An understanding that there is something unique about the human drama versus the rest of life. Humility is a grasp of the distance between us and the stars, yet having the feeling that we’re part of the stars. So humility is a virtue; but timidity is a disease. Timidity is an affliction. It can be cured, but it is a problem.

Be proud but not arrogant

It takes pride to win the day. It takes pride to build your ambition. It takes pride in community. It takes pride in cause, in accomplishment. But the key to becoming a good leader is being proud without being arrogant. In fact I believe the worst kind of arrogance is arrogance from ignorance. It’s when you don’t know that you don’t know. Now that kind of arrogance is intolerable. If someone is smart and arrogant, we can tolerate that. But if someone is ignorant and arrogant, that’s just too much to take.

Develop humour without folly

That’s important for a leader. In leadership, we learn that it’s okay to be witty, but not silly. It’s okay to be fun, but not foolish.

Lastly, deal in realities. Deal in truth. Save yourself the agony. Just accept life like it is. Life is unique. Some people call it tragic, but I’d like to think it’s unique. The whole drama of life is unique. It’s fascinating. And I’ve found that the skills that work well for one leader may not work at all for another. But the fundamental skills of leadership can be adapted to work well for just about everyone: at work, in the community, and at home.

Balance in the Bible

*BALANCE*

1. *Noah* built the *ark* by faith but, he used measurements. There is a place for rational thinking in our walk of faith. Not all decisions should be made with blind hope!

2. *Sarah’s pregnancy* was a miracle, but it took nine months just like any other. God’s plans do not negate the importance of process. Sometime you need to wait or work it out.

3. The *stone* that killed *Goliath* might have been anointed, but *David’s skill* was also involved. Developing skills does not mean you are not anointed. If you play a piano, play it to the fullest. Don’t take us through the agony of listening to your cacophony in the name of “singing to the Lord”. Skills are important. There is nothing rude with telling that sister “you can’t sing, find something else to do in the house of God”.

4. *Esther* received favor to become *queen*, but she also bathed and prepared her appearance. Preparation is key to become fit for the occasion. Get knowledge, go to school. Stop blaming auto-correct, check your spelling even here on social media. Prepare, because some of us expect nothing but the best from you!

5. The *promised land* was full of milk and honey, but they also had to plow, feed cattle, and take care of sheep. Miracles are communication tools that God uses to instill trust, faith and the knowledge of his nature. You need to work, don’t expect miracles in a specific area of life all the time. No one pays rent for a full year with miracle money. We need it, we want it, but God wants what is permanent.

6. *God* is the one who *created human capacity* to memorize things, yet he also told many prophets to write their message. Spirituality does not mean we should not use tools to package the message.

7. *Ruth* received favor to marry *Boaz*, but the coaching of Naomi was necessary. Human coaching is necessary, you need to submit and learn from someone. It will spare you from silly mistakes.

8. *Moses* could hear directly from God, but he was wearing himself out with work, it was the wisdom of his father in law that saved him from dying a premature death with exhaustion. It is wisdom to put on a seat belt, brush teeth, and adhere to medical advise. Being spiritual does not mean asking angels to cook food for you!

9. *Namaan* was a mighty soldier and a friend of Kings, but he acted as influenced by a Jewish maiden. Even important people are influenced by”insignificant”people. The key thing is proximity that generates influence.

Mishandling of the natural world can cause hinderance to progress, and a total neglect of the spiritual world will definitely cause total failure in all areas of life.

*Balance is the key.*

Weakness or strength

An Inspirational Story for today ~ Weakness or Strength

Sometimes our biggest weakness can become our biggest strength. Take, for example, the story of one 10-year-old boy who decided to study Judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.

The boy began lessons with an old Japanese Judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn’t understand why, after three months of training the master had taught him only one move.

“Sensei,” the boy finally said, “Shouldn’t I be learning more moves?”

“This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you’ll ever need to know.” – the sensei replied.

Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.

Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened.

“No,” the sensei insisted, “Let him continue.”

Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion.

On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind.

“Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?”

“You won for two reasons,” the sensei answered. “First, you’ve almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grap your left arm.”

The boy’s biggest weakness had become his biggest strength. *Sometimes our biggest weakness can become our biggest strength*.