One fine day, a bus driver and conductor went to the bus garage and began their routine job quietly. It was their normal route and there were no problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet, eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the conductor and said, “Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.
The bus conductor was five feet, three, thin, and basically meek. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. He was angry within but he dared not express it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. It became a routine drama, everyday, the same route, the same conductor and the same big John refusing to pay. The regular commuters began to look forward to this little drama and the meek conductor’s reaction.
This grated on the bus conductor, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, “Big John doesn't pay!" The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, “And why not?" With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, “Big John has a bus pass."
The bus conductor could have confronted him without having judged him in silence. He could have saved himself a lot of humiliation. Often we are put to shame by our own overdrive to condemn or put someone down.